My Baptism Into The World Of Raging

This is the story of my first beer second, third, fourth, fifth, and however many I ended up having that night.  Starts out me not even wanting to go (can you believe it me not wanting to go to a party? I know crazy right) to this party that the older soccer team members were having that night.  I was forced by my two best friends to go to sed party that I did not want to attend.  First they convinced my mother to go to a "sleep over" (wow that sounds extremely immature) that the team was having.  We get there and I learn about the game called "beer pong" (may the men that created this game go down in the history books as having the greatest idea in all of drinking)  this game was played all through the night and the people who played it took it as a game of life or death.  After about an hour of everyone drinking i decide to grab a beer from under the pong table first drink tasted like over caffeinated sprite, and I know every girl says that so shut the fuck up.  After about three more I started to feel the effects from the nectar of the gods.  Another three and I was hooked, next thing I know I am dancing in the middle of a middle with a beer in hand (which turns out to be a reoccurring theme in my life as most of you would know).  Turns out I was joined by another idiot dancer who decided to throw a roundhouse-kick from nowhere which lands on my thumb (warning do not I repeat do not throw drunk roundhouse kick while drunk, shit never turns out how you expect it).  And being that this was the first time I was sloshed I concluded that my thumb was broken and it was the end of the world.  Little did I know that a bag of ice and four more beers would fix all of that.  Next came the pass out drunks who were at the party and here is where I came to learn the rule of "don't pass out with your shoes on".  Lucky for me and the rest of the party, someone did haha.  Sharpe marker was our choice of weapon and we used that to draw on the kid, who had a Jew fro, things such as Nazi symbols and "insert penis here" signs.  Overall the night was a complete success and the best party of every party in my own opinion is waking up the next morning getting breakfast and trying to remember the night.
PUSSY WAGON!

Party on Garth

Birthday Bash

When it comes to birthdays people loveeeeeeeeee to rage (probably because its an actual reason to party instead of the usual um..... it Tuesday?).  I, myself feel that birthday parties are an exceptional reason to go hard as one can for the party.  But this is not a requirment for ragers attending the party.  To bad we can't say the same for the birthday boy/girl hahahaha.  Now for the birthday boy/girl it is a requirement to get as smashed as possible (because really its not a birthday party if the birthday rager can remeber the actual events of the night).  Now getting as hammered as humanlly, possible without taking a trip to the hospital, is not all on the birthday rager.  Oh no, this responsiblilty falls on the birthday rager's firends and/or roommate.  THIS IS A CARDINAL SIN IN THE PARTYING WORLD! That is if the birthday rager can recall the night.  In my own party that I had thrown for my roommate/friend I went to , I would think, great length for the location that I was forced to use, our 900sqt ft apartment.  In all 240 red cups and (which was actually pretty cheap ha thanks mom and dad for the costco card) 3 30 racks.  I feel that the party was a success because my roommate or I were not able to recall the night.  Anyways when throwing a birthday party make sure to do the essentials.



Party on Wanye

Crazy White Girl Syndrome

We all know that there are many symptoms to drinking alcohol.  Such as loss of balance, the inability to keep your mouth shut, exaggerating on pretty much every emotion as is comes to you, and the occasional damn I want to get some(which in mans chase is every time).  But there is one symptom that turns into a so called disease for the night, thats right I am talking about crazy white girl syndrome.  We all know her and we have all seen her at our parties the white girl who had one or two or four to many drinks for herself to handle.  She is bouncing around the entire party in and out of conversations, dancing by herself when her "omg!" favorite song comes on (which some how turns out to be every song that plays that night) and trying to steal drinks that everyone knows we should give her but she somehow ends up getting them.  Now crazy white girl syndrome can be avoided even  with the craziest white girls.  Learn to drink!  Although I salute you crazy white girl for your crazy party mode and dancing for no reason, because occasionally I like to dance myself, please realize that there isn't much reason to try a cram as much drinking as you can into your first hour to two hours of drinking, unless it is your birthday or your bachelorette party.  There is a whole night ahead of you where plenty of drinks will be handed out for free because you are a girl.  The night as always young and there will always be someone willing to drink so please, as much as it is an enjoyment to watch to fall while trying to walk, drink smart pace yourself and you will actually wake up in the morning remembering all the fun you had the night before instead of people telling you how much of a mess you were.

Party on Garth

Binge Drinkers Manifesto

Our weekends start on Thursday night when we get thirsty and end somewhere between the floor and a puddle of vomit. We cram a whole weeks’ worth of drinking into a weekend so that we can fill the rest of the week with even more drinking. We feel that there is no such thing as a wounded soldier and beers that are left opened and full in the morning is the saddest thing in the world. We know that power hour is the most epic hour of the night and the only way to start a night of epic events. The rule “beer before liquor and you’ll never be sicker” should have added on “but add more beer and your drunken ass is in the clear”. We feel that stumbling into a 24 hour fast food restaurant at 4 in the morning is the greatest idea of the night. 
We are the binge drinkers of today and we plan to stay and get shitty every night so watch out for the damn 5 OH and always remember as long as there is a bottle and a thirty there is always a reason to party!


Party on Wanye

UFC and drinking

So my first post is going to be about certain "experiments" done at parties. Recently I was knocked out via rear naked choke because someone was showing friends how to choke out someone.  Now this could be a fun idea if these people are sober, but add a lot of beer to this equation and this party can expect someone unconscious on the floor. So please fellow drinkers please stay away from practicing your UFC moves while raging hard. Thank you.

Party on Garth